The Power of Routines

We talk a lot about mental health in our practice. The ups and downs, the coping skills, the big feelings. But one thing that often gets overlooked is how much the everyday stuff matters. How the small, steady things we do, like brushing our teeth, getting to bed on time, or making that first cup of coffee, quietly shape how we feel.

At Gather Clinical Counselling, we’ve seen time and time again that routines can be a powerful way to support mental health. They bring rhythm and steadiness to days that might otherwise feel scattered or stressful. Let’s take a closer look at why routines matter, and how to build ones that actually fit your life.

The Power of Routines for Mental Health

Sometimes we think of routines as boring, something that takes the fun or spontaneity out of life. But the truth is, routines aren’t meant to box us in. When done with intention, they actually give us freedom: freedom from stress, from chaos, and from the mental clutter that can weigh us down.

Whether you’re a teen juggling school, friends, and online life, or an adult trying to keep up with work, family, and responsibilities, having routines that support your mental health can make a real difference. Let’s explore why routines matter, how they affect your mental wellbeing, and how to build ones that truly serve you.

Why Routines Matter

Routines are the rhythm of daily life, the patterns that shape how we move through our days. Even when we don’t think we have routines, when we look closely, we find that we do. The time you reach for your phone in the morning, the route you take to work or school, when you eat, scroll, and rest. These are all small rituals!

The question isn’t whether you have routines, but whether they help you feel grounded and supported, or whether they leave you feeling drained and disconnected.

Healthy routines act as anchors. They give your mind and body signals that it’s time to focus, time to rest, or time to recharge. When life feels uncertain, whether it’s a stressful week, a big transition, or a tough mental health moment, routines can offer a sense of stability.

The Mental Health Benefits of Routine

  1. Reduces anxiety and decision fatigue
    Every day, we make hundreds of tiny decisions: what to wear, when to eat, whether to go for a walk or check social media. It adds up. Routines reduce the number of small choices you have to make, freeing up mental space. The more predictable your basic habits are, the more energy you have for creativity, problem-solving, and connection.

  2. Supports better sleep
    Going to bed and waking up at consistent times helps regulate your body’s internal clock. A predictable sleep routine signals to your brain when it’s time to wind down, making it easier to fall asleep and wake feeling rested. If you’re interested in learning more about sleep routines, check out our blog or join our group Drift: Reset Your Sleep, if you’d like to explore healthy routines together.

  3. Improves focus and productivity
    Routines create structure, which helps you build momentum. If you start your day with a few intentional habits, even simple ones like stretching or making your bed, your brain gets the message that it’s time to engage.

  4. Encourages self-care
    When you build self-care into your routine, it’s less likely to slip through the cracks. A consistent morning walk, weekly therapy session, or scheduled downtime isn’t just “nice to have”. It becomes part of your rhythm, a signal to yourself that your wellbeing matters.

  5. Creates a sense of safety and control
    During times of stress or uncertainty, routines can be soothing. They remind you that there are still things you can influence: your breath, your daily rituals, your choices. That sense of agency is powerful for mental health.

Routines vs. Rigid Schedules

It’s easy to confuse routine with rigidity. But a healthy routine isn’t about following a strict schedule down to the minute. It’s about consistency and intention, not perfection.

Rigid schedules can sometimes backfire, especially if you live with anxiety, ADHD, or depression. When life doesn’t go according to plan, it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed. Flexible routines, on the other hand, give structure and room for compassion.

Think of your routine as scaffolding rather than a box, something that supports you, not something that traps you.

How to Build a Routine That Works for You

Creating a routine that supports your mental health doesn’t mean overhauling your entire life. Start small. Choose one or two areas where a little consistency might help you feel more balanced. Here’s how to begin:

1. Start with what’s already working

Notice what parts of your day feel calm, grounded, or satisfying. Maybe you feel better after your morning coffee, journaling, a hot shower, or a short walk. Build on those moments.

2. Anchor your day around key points

Morning, mealtimes, and bedtime are natural anchors for routine. You might decide to add one simple ritual to each:

  • Morning: take a few deep breaths before checking your phone.

  • Afternoon: eat lunch away from your desk.

  • Evening: write down one thing you’re grateful for before bed.

3. Keep it realistic

Set yourself up for success. A five-minute routine you can keep is more valuable than a 30-minute one you abandon. If your goal is to meditate, start with three minutes. If you want to journal, start with one line.

4. Make it meaningful

Choose routines that connect you to your values. If creativity matters to you, make time to draw or write. If relationships are important, schedule regular time with friends or family. When routines reflect what you care about, they’re easier to stick with.

5. Be flexible

Life changes. Routines can, too. What works during the school year might shift in summer; what helps you during a stressful period might look different when things calm down. Revisit and adjust as needed.

When Routine Becomes a Pressure

Sometimes, even helpful routines can turn into another source of stress. You might feel guilty if you don’t stick to them, or anxious if something disrupts your plan.

If that happens, pause and take a gentle approach. The point of a routine isn’t to perform it perfectly; it’s to support your wellbeing. If you miss a day, it’s okay. You haven’t failed. You’ve just had a human moment!

You can always return to your rhythm or create a new one that fits where you are now.

Building Routines in Hard Times

When you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, grief, or burnout, even small tasks can feel overwhelming. In those times, routines can help, but they need to be especially gentle and flexible.

If you’re in a tough place, try this:

  • Focus on one small anchor. Pick a single action you can count on, like brushing your teeth, opening the curtains, or making your bed.

  • Pair it with compassion. Speak to yourself the way you would to a friend: “This is enough for today.”

  • Lean on support. If you have a therapist, mentor, or trusted friend, talk through what kind of structure feels doable. Sometimes, routines work best when they’re created together.

The Freedom Within Routine

It might sound paradoxical, but having a consistent structure actually creates space for more spontaneity and creativity. When the basics like sleep, nourishment, and self-care are taken care of, your mind is freer to explore and take healthy risks.

Routines give you a foundation, so when unexpected things happen (as they always do), you have something steady to return to. In this way, routines become a form of self-trust, a quiet promise to yourself that you’ll keep showing up, even in small ways.

A Few Questions to Reflect On

If you’d like to explore your relationship with routine, here are a few prompts to journal or think about:

  • What parts of my day help me feel calm or grounded?

  • Where do I feel rushed, scattered, or stuck?

  • What small change could make my day flow a little more smoothly?

  • How can I bring more compassion into the way I approach routine?

Your Routine, Your Way

Routines aren’t about living life on autopilot; they’re about creating rhythms that support your mental and emotional health. When done thoughtfully, they can help you feel more balanced, energized, and resilient.

So start small. Pick one moment in your day to make intentional. Build from there. Over time, those small, steady choices can add up to something powerful,  a life that feels a little calmer, a little clearer, and a lot more your own.

We know that finding and keeping a routine isn’t always easy, especially when life feels unpredictable or heavy. But small, intentional steps can go a long way. You don’t have to do it perfectly, you just have to start where you are.

If you’d like some help creating routines that feel supportive rather than stressful, we’d love to work with you. Our therapists at Gather Clinical Counselling can help you find rhythms that fit your real life, not just your to-do list. Because the best routines aren’t about control, they’re about care.

Laurie Parker and Theresa Jackson

Laurie is a Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Victoria, BC, who takes an integrative, collaborative approach to therapy. She works with clients of all ages using tools from CBT, solution-focused, and talk therapy, along with creative elements like art, play, and mindfulness. Laurie supports individuals navigating anxiety, depression, big emotions, and life transitions, and brings warmth, honesty, and curiosity to her practice. She holds multiple degrees, including an MA in Counselling Psychology, and is both a Canadian Certified Counsellor and an expert chocolate chip cookie baker.

Theresa is a Registered Clinical Counsellor with nearly two decades of experience supporting children, teens, adults, and families through a wide range of challenges, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and life transitions. With graduate degrees in counselling psychology and neuroscience, she offers an integrative, trauma-informed approach that blends evidence-based practices with compassion and humour. Theresa is especially skilled in working with neurodivergent youth and their families, and incorporates psychoeducation to help clients understand the brain–body connection. Based in Victoria, BC, she creates a safe, inclusive space for meaningful growth and lasting change.

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